Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize