I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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