I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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