is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
