also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she smelled like a LAN party
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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