she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
