So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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