remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
