My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize