What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
