Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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