woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
