I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
