doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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