my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I understand Curling. That high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So vagazzling was a success
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
