I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
