and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
