She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
