Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have aggressive nipples.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
