Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize