i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
