it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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