I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
