you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
