do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was born a porn star she said
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
