I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
