I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
