hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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