i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize