She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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