currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
