ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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