You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
