R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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