Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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