thus making me awesome and them whores
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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