So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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