I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Green mimosas i think yes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
