A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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