I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
