guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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