I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
