Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you traded sex for a burrito?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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