absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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