What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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