you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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