More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
