at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
