we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
