Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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