I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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