Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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