I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
