dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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