It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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