i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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