That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
