I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
