he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
