So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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