I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
